Monday, July 20, 2009

River Livin'

Had a great long weekend camping! I took the kids down to meet up with my Mom who was camping solo this past week and had told anyone who wanted to come keep her company to show up. She ended up with quite a cast of characters! By the time we arrived late in the week some people had left but several aunts and uncles and my grandmother (camping in her own hip little camping van) were still there. My brother and his family showed up and then Dad, too - so it was great seeing every one!

A lot of swimmin'...


A lot of fishin' with Grammy...


A lot of river time on the boat with Grammy...


Just my cutie pie...


More river time...


A 12" Bass (good catch, Jack!)...


Watch out BFF, Natalie, there's a new "Buddy" in town...


Fish for breakfast, Mai?...


Side trip to Loon Lake with cousins...


S'mores...


The Bogeyman showing up after someone crossed the "Bogeyman line" around the fire pit...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Give Me Your Eyes, Lord

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Lessons From a Four Year Old



Joyful delight defined by a 4 y/o:
Finding a stone wall to walk across on your walk with Mama.

Ecstatic delight defined by a 4 y/o:
Finding a second stone wall only minutes after the first.

When was the last time you enjoyed a "stone wall"? They are everywhere you look.

Challenges are what make like interesting...



Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Just a whole lotta Summer goin' on






Just a whole lotta Summer goin' on.
The kids at the park on a play date with preschool friends yesterday.... and I love the one of the two BCFs (Best Cousins Forever) - One was pretending to be Miley Cyrus and one was pretending to be Hannah Montana - yep - two girls from the same mold, yet still different :-) Cousin Kayla stayed two nights this week and I've never had so much freedom in my own home before!! Those two were thick as thieves!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Race Report



You know what they say, A perfect race means a boring race report.
Well, it wasn't perfect in the way I wanted, but pretty darn close. Race day started with my mom waking me up at 4:20 to get my lazy butt out of bed, eating, sunscreening, etc. Got my stuff together and she dropped me off at T2 to meet my team and catch the bus out to the lake. It was 33 degrees out. I was in flip flops and shorts and my toes were little icecubes.

My team of about 20 managed to snag a little mini bus all to ourselves and the 45 minute ride to the lake was a mixture of nerves and hilarity. I mostly rested my head against the cool window as the sun poured through onto my face. I watched Ilana braid Michele's hair as Ilana fought carsickness. I listened to Leslie and Tiffany singing funny songs at the rear of the bus and our theme song for the day was "Let's get it started. HA! Let's get it started in here!" I listened to Sherrie imitate Shannon's laugh. I watched Ali in the seat ahead of me trying to choke down her very thick oatmeal with a very dry mouth. I watched us all comparing our tattoos and things we wrote on our bodies in black marker. We had a bunch of tattoos made up that said "Suck it up Princess" - A quote from little Natasha, our honored teammate who is up in Heaven now. Some of us had written the letters PFM or RFM for Persistent Forward Motion or Relentless Forward Motion - remembering as long as we keep moving, whether it was pushing our bike up the mountain or crawling through the paths, along as we kept it moving forward, we were good.

Got to the lake and made sure all our T1 stuff we dropped off the night before was still there, that our tires were pumped up sufficiently and used the porta potties about 15 times each all the while talking about our pre-race bathroom troubles or successes of the morning ;o)
As we were finishing up a second breakfast and preparing to get in our wetsuits, the loud speaker announced that a bus hadn't arrived due to road construction or a wreck or something and that the race would be delayed as much as 45 min to an hour. GRRRRR.
After a few minutes of grumbling and realizing that it would be THAT much hotter on our run with a late start, we accepted what we could not change and started monkeying around some more.

Finally, we're off!! I had a fantastic swim and was sure that my time would be terrific. After the 2nd buoy, I had a terrific cramp in my right calf - I had been using my legs too much and when I lifted my head to clear some snot out of my throat I slowed down and instantly got the cramp. I almost panicked but then just kicked my leg out a couple times and continued swimming with my right leg hanging limp and continued on and I was good! Got into T2 and saw Diane and Dan and Sherrie and loved the energy. My only glitch was that I couldn't get my helmet snapped. I don't know if it was nerves or my fingers were cold or what, but it took me over a minute to get it hooked on. My swim time was 40:42 (I felt I had gone off course somewhat between the last two buoys and I think I must have. Diane confirmed that she also felt like she was caught in a current there. I don't think lakes have currents, but it definitely felt like I was being pulled off course). I came out of the water 248/477 so right in the middle is fine with me with this group of athletes!!
T1 was 3:09.

The bike ride was terrific as well. No problems. Powered up Mt. Bachelor only to see what looked like my truck right at the end of our middle (biggest climb) hill around mile 37. Sure enough, there are Steve, Mom, and the kids sitting in the back with TNT signs and big smiles and "I love you Mama" shouts, BUT IT WAS A HILL - I could not stop to hug them like I wanted to - I had to keep pushing and I did try to give Steve a high five and almost toppled off my bike!

Then a few minutes later, here they come up behind me with more words of encouragement. TERRIFIC!!!

Now I'm up over the hill and on my way
D
O
W
N
the mountain. Speeding along so fast that what I thought would be comfort after the hill turned out to be so painful trying to keep my bike from getting swept sideways by the wind - my upper body was tense staying down in my drops close to my brakes, but it felt SO GOOD!!!! to be flying along like that. I had passed a guy who was walking his bike up the big hill and at the bottom he finally passed me and said I was BOMBING down the hill and it took him the whole way to catch me. But catch me he did and away he went. I ended up pulling into T2 with a time of 3:45:49 and a placing of 422 out of 472 although at this point in the race I am still in 398th place. Again, with these athletes, I'm loving those numbers. I'm elated and bummed at the same time. The ride was pretty darn good. I took it too easy, though. I was trying to save myself for the hills and I was trying to save myself for the run, but at the end of it all, I see where I should have pushed harder during the first 27 miles - last year I got a cramp during that first stretch that stayed with me through the entire rest of the race and I was scared of that happening again. I should have gone for it - the hill had nothing on me this year! So, we lost 5 people somewhere there, but now I've really dropped in the rankings. I also see where I mentally kind of lost my motivation over the last 20 miles. I knew I was going to come in way ahead of my bike goal of under 4 hours and kind of again "saved myself" for the rest of the race.

T2 was uneventful and took me way too long at 4:45, but I felt good. My legs were good and I was happy as I reached my family at mile 1. I kind of knew at that point that the run would be similar to last year. Although my legs and lungs were good, my back was starting to spasm and I was feeling lightheaded and nauseated, getting goosebumps off and on in what turned out to be somewhere in the upper 80s that day. Sheryl caught me around mile 2 and we decided to run/walk together until we got to her house which was on the route - she called it her T3. She was going to run in and change from bike shorts to running shorts and said she would grab me something to eat. By the time we met up again, I realized my nutrition was off. I felt yucky and the bar she got me was so dry and I couldn't even produce enough saliva to wash it down my throat. Got rid of the bar and tried an apple pie gel. BLECH! I got it down and it didn't come back up, so that was good. It was also the only calories I got into me during those 13.1 miles. I think I managed 1 cup of Heed or whatever the course had at one point but otherwise, I just ate A FREAKING TRUCKLOAD OF ICE!! I'm so thankful for the aid stations at every mile and all the ice they provided us.

So, I finally told Sheryl, listen, this is killing me to run - you have to go on without me - so off she went. I played tag with a nice guy for quite some time. I would run and pass him then he would run and pass me then he would stop at a porta potty and I would pass him again. We had lots of good laughs. Tim caught up with me around mile 5 or 6 and we stayed together for quite some time talking and laughing until some friends of his showed up at mile 10 to bring him across the finish line...running...so I let them leave me as I still couldn't bring myself to run other than a jog here and there. The thing I realized was that if I ran, I felt sick and in pain. Not just a suck it up princess type of thing. If I ran, I was going to be very ill. I also realized that if I walked, I was having a good time - enjoying the beautiful scenery of Sunriver, the river, the horses, the animals, and so rather than worry about anything, I just enjoyed.

And that Persistent Forward Motion got me across the finish line with my kids on either side of me holding my hands and hearing my name called out as a finisher!! and tons of hugs from my teammates and a final time of 7:58:35 which I believe was about an hour faster than last year!!!!

Right after the race I told my mom not to let me do this again next year. She promised.
I bet she'll read this... Mom...It's like having a baby - you immediately forget all the bad and remember the good...I'm just sayin'...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Short Story

I’ve never felt freedom before, not real freedom. Sometimes, swimming so fast in the lake that I believe I am a fish or slowly breaking a sweat on the hottest beach while the coldest beer rests in my hand or I smell a first spring morning, or better yet, the hottest summer morning, a peace rolls over me. Do you know what I mean? Those smallest bits of time that you feel completely there; in the moment; all of you understands that this particular moment in time is real and perfect and your heart swells…or it doesn’t, maybe it simply feels free from everything else. Gives me a taste of what I know Heaven must be like or life really should be, but then it’s gone. I’m back to me. Average. Bored. Uncomfortable.