Awww...They're So Adorable...Awwww....

WHAT a lazy, yet busy weekend. Let's see, I slept in Friday and Saturday and Sunday - getting like 10 hours of sleep each night. The only problem with sleeping in is that I feel like 1/2 the day is wasted before I'm up and going.
I'll take the sleep, though... it was FANTASTIC! I also gots lots of studying done, watched 7 Years in Tibet, Ladder 49, and 3 episodes of What Not To Wear :-)

On Friday, the kids and I went to the library and checked out the limit - I think 55 (?) books. They have devoured them and I think only 3 remain unread. I LOVE that my kids love reading.

Mai and I had a date at the mall. She, of course, dressed up as a princess. Shoe shopping with this girl was about to drive me nuts. She's been wearing the same nasty, smelly, beat up, falling apart moccasins for way too long, but she's sooooooooooooo picky! Nothing looks right, nothing fits right.
I vividly remember having these same feelings when I was a kiddo and so I'm trying to go with the flow, let her find the right ones and also let her keep her individuality, even if it means letting her look like a ragamuffin at school while the exact perfect pair of shoes pops up. After two hours at the mall, she came home with two pairs! HOORAY!!! Aren't they cute??!!!

We also got in a nice little hike with Ki today at Forest Park.

 

 

After giving Ki a thorough flea bath, we ended up at Winco for a major food shopping trip. This girl of mine...I don't know how we're going to make it through - her and I. We have a major battle for who is the most stubborn, self-sufficient, most right, most controlling person in the room. I'm trying so hard to give her room - to let her be her - to not need to be in a hurry so that she can experience what she wants to experience. I hope I'm doing an ok job.

On Friday, Mai told me that she was going to put away (which means hang up, because they don't have a chest of drawers) all of the laundry belonging to her and Jack. It was A LOT!! It took her over an hour, but she got it done perfectly and she didn't stop once.

Today at the store, she insisted on bagging all $250 worth of groceries herself. I mean, I could have said no. Most parents probably would have. But it meant so much to her and she was so sure of herself. The little girls to the left and right of us were so sad when their moms wouldn't let them in on the fun. She did a great job and the look on her face afterwards was priceless. I'm so glad my irritation about grocery shopping in general didn't keep me from letting her try this grown up thing for her.

When we were making the salad at dinner, she grabbed two pieces of cucumber and said she had a pretty long weekend and needed some help for the bags under her eyes...

...and then she reminded me I promised to help her clean out her bug habitat...

...see all those dots on the leaves?? That's slug poop!
We found all 4 slugs...

but the 8 worms...
GONE! After sluggies got all safe and sound back into their clean home, she gasped and said "Awwww...They're so adorable...Awwwww - Mama, just look at how cute they are. (whatever).

Now, I know you know I have a son. That was him in the first picture. He's a wonderful, lovely, smart, affectionate, mommy deprived boy. And...this is my problem. Some times I think that Mai attached at my hip is the problem, but it's not. It's  that this sweet boy is having a hard time working his way in with me inbetween his very busy sister's scheduling of me. Something's gotta give.

Rule # 19

Rule # 19 from You Are Your Choices: "Why Not Be Comfortable?"

"Luxury need not have a price - comfort itself is a luxury." Geoffrey Beene

Every once in a while I pick up one of my Alexandra Stoddard books after putting into practice one of her suggestions I've previously read. This morning the alarm went off, I made my coffee and just as I sat down on the couch to wake up a bit with the sunrise, I realized that for 8 years of watching sunrises from my couch, I never get to view the whole perfect picture of Mt. Hood because my couch sits too far back from the window. I see about 1/2 of the mountain as I strain my neck a bit. It's lovely, but today I was reminded how much better it would be if I enjoyed the full picture. How easy was this to do? I pulled one end of the couch out about a foot and sat back under my cozy blanket and got to see the entire beautiful pink sunrise and the ENTIRE mountain without straining my neck. Silly me. 8 years of not getting the whole picture because I was too lazy to pull the couch out a few inches.

Then Steve woke up and called me into the bedroom to see who had been watching the sunrise next door. I think it's a heron??

Great morning of simple stuff. Thanks Alexandra Stoddard. I'm going to read a few more chapters today to see how I can live more of the good life tomorrow.

For Grammy

How I Spent My Saturday

For a non-tennis person, it was a bit too much tennis for me, but I really enjoyed it. Read it from cover to cover this afternoon after my date with Jack (we had icecream cones and put together his
Bakugan 7 in 1 Maxis Dragenoid at the coffee shop). I totally forgot about her being stabbed by a crazy Steffi fan. I loved that she's just a regular girl with regular problems who happened to be a fantastic athlete. I totally related to her stubborn streak and self-defeating behaviours.

Consider me Yogaed

I've often considered taking a yoga class but the fear and anxiety always won out. I'm feeling braver as I get older and when Sheryl asked me to join her for her first yoga class, I felt it was an opportunity to help my fellow woman with her own anxieties by allowing her to not be the least flexible, least knowledgeable, least yoga like person in the class. Sheryl, you are welcome!

It was a fun way to try something new. I just kept telling myself as I was dying throughout the class, that I was helping a friend. I might be making a fool of myself, I might be uncomfortable, I might just release vapors if I'm not careful in this awkward pose - BUT...I'm sure as heck making Sheryl look good!

It really was fun. Well, I can say that now that it's over. It was definitely different. I liked that it was quiet, and when I worked through the discomfort of some poses, I could really feel how it would help me in my running and biking and daily activities. Sheryl had told me that since it was a newbie class, they shortened the time to 45 minutes. It was THE LONGEST 45 minutes of my life. I really spent quite a bit of time in meditation over just how long 45 minutes could feel. Sorry mistress yoga instructor...I just couldn't connect with my inner yogi so I counted the minutes of torture instead.

p.s. When I got to my car afterward I saw that the class actually lasted 75 minutes! Aha...grrr...Sheryl :p

So as we moved to a fetal position ( I easily did that one) and then onto our backs to relax, I thought "hey, this actually isn't so bad". This wonderful relaxation however, did not last long enough. As she sprinkled me with aromatherapy, I inhaled deeply, completely relaxed and moments later my eyes flew open as I realized I had fallen asleep and had the incredibly frightening feeling that I was going to look over to see that everyone had left class as I lay there finally getting in tune with my inner me.

Gasp! Oh THANK YOU GOD, they are all still here with their eyes closed. Phew. Narrowly escaped with my pride in tact (kind of...)

Ya. So I'm missing a little hair. Take it up with my Mom.

This kid just CRACKS. ME. UP! I wanna gobble him up. He's so sweet. Every couple of weeks I send him to school with a lunchbox love note. He's always liked them...A LOT! Usually it's a mushy note written on a tough Transformer or Bakugan pic, but this week I made the mistake of sending one on a heart with a teddy bear. Boy, did his friends make fun of him around the lunch table!! I sure heard about it! However, this boy loves his mama and after I tried to console him that they were all just jealous they weren't getting their own mama love notes, I said I would quit doing it. Not more than a second went by before he said "no mama. it's ok. keep sendin' 'em"
awwww.

It's been so long since I really have posted much of anything. My brain goes from feeling dried up and empty to having too much stuff to say that I can't get it out because I've got so many thoughts flying around.

I guess I'll start with this and see where it leads. During my run today I was really down.
                                                                                                                                   down.
                                                                                                                                            down.
The day started good. I got up and while I was waking up with the kids I did a bunch of stretches for my legs and then Mai and I worked on some stretching of things we had never really thought about stretching before... Like our psoas. Mmmm.. feels so good!

So when I headed out for my 5 miler, I was pretty encouraged that I had done everything I needed to do. I had tried to do it on the treadmill yesterday and stopped at 2 miles from the tendonitis pain (no stretching beforehand). I figured if I headed outside today, at least I would get two miles in and not be able to stop from the pain - I would have to make it back home and couldn't just jump of the treadmill. So off I went - hoping for 5 miles but knowing that I would at least get four.

BAM!!
THE ONLY muscle I forgot to stretch in my whole body were my shins. By about 3/4 mile in, you would have found me up kneeling on a bus stop bench trying to work out the cramps. At 1.6 miles in, you would have found me at the park on a different bench, working on them again. Less than a half mile later you would have found me kneeling on the side of the road in the pouring rain and mud, stretching stretching stretching and wondering how long it would take me to get home at this rate.

Ok, so much for a short and sweet story. I might as well finish this.

So I finally get to the 3 mile mark and all of sudden I realized just how DOWN I was. I couldn't believe it. What is wrong with me? This is not a big deal. It is SO not a big deal. So maybe I don't get to run the Eugene marathon. Maybe I do. Maybe running is not in the books for me this year.
Time will tell.
It's just NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Enjoy the rain falling on my face. Enjoy that today I feel in control of bad habits, but that I don't feel controlled by perfectionism. Enjoy that the music on my ipod is so much fun and better yet...
why don't I just throw my hands up skyward and say THANK YOU for this day!! Which I did. I figured enough people had wondered if they should stop to help me when I was doing child's pose on the road that a little hands in the air, no one would care.

So I leave you with this thought today. Enjoy it all. Be thankful for what you DO have and be thankful that the rest of it...well, it's just not that big of a deal.

Feeling Good

When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes. - O. Winfrey

If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal. - Norman Vincent Peale

Change your thoughts, and you change your world. - Norman Vincent Peale

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. 

Life isn't what you want it to be, it's what you make it become. - Anthony Ryan

The only place where dreams are impossible is in your own mind. - Emalie

Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on a tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

And I'm feeling good

Cissis

1 cis fer $1, 2 cissis fer 50 c
GOD! I LOVE HER!!!...and want to "ciss" her sweet little face all over!

WOW, do I feel flat out busy this week. Year end for the business, feeling behind on my NASM homework, started a new bible study, regular work, marathon training, oh and ya...the kids want some of my time, too.

So...I am just more and more excited about my personal training course and I should really just be going balls to walls right now with studying but I started a new bible study today and it just grabbed my heart and I'm thinking I should have waited on it, but it's just too important to put off, so I'll make it work. In the past I have done lots of fun bible studies (think Bad Girls of the Bible) and lots of Beth Moore studies and this time around I thought I would try something new. It's an inductive study of Philippians. The description of it on the church website said you could get as involved as you want in it - 5 minutes a day to an hour or more a day. I thought it would be the better choice with my schedule right now. I can do 5 minutes. After learning more about it today and trying out an inductive study of Psalms 1:1-6, I realize that no one would ever want to just spend 5 minutes working on this. Oh man...I'm in trouble. Pray for my time management skills as they currently suck!

Having a good time! Loving life!

Passion

That boy sure loves to read at night! His passion for books and learning is so inspiring! I have no idea how I'm going to get him to sleep early now that school is back in play.

It's January 3rd and although I didn't make any actual resolutions, I still had in my head that I expected some major changes in myself this new year and I'm afraid that just because the new decade started, I really did think some magic would happen and it would all fall into place on Jan one.
Nope, same old me.

I was so glad I DID go to church last night, though. This was kind of a resolution in the back of my mind. We are SO hit and miss and I really want the kids to expect to be able to look forward to it each and every week. Did I mention I was so glad we went? Did I mention the devil tried everything to keep me home? Don't you hate when that happens? Do you realize when it's happening, when he's working you? I think it happens so often in my life and I get so used to it that I give up on a lot of things. A LOT!  Last night it was just too obvious.

I told Steve we were going to church early in the day. He mentioned he might go, which made me very . Later he not only said he wasn't going to go which made me very but he said that he told Jack he didn't have to go either and they were leaving to go somewhere else  and this made me very very ! and after a bit of an argument, he left without Jack, but with me now in a very cranky mood.

So I'm cranky, and now Jack is upset that he "HAS" to go to church even though he loves it, because he sees his Daddy is not going and he would rather be with him. On top of it, Mai decided that she didn't have fancy enough shoes to wear to church and was crying out of frustration with her lack of choices and was refusing to go if her feet weren't pretty. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and felt a huge rush of UGH! with my own presentation and flopped down on the couch wondering if I had the energy to deal with it all. Maybe a glass of wine and a piece of pizza will help me feel better. NO!!! Just get up, dress up, and show up!! (remember that from my New Year's post??).
...so we painted Mai's toenails red and found some flip flops and off we went.

Phew!
I love every single time I enter my church. As soon as my butt hits the chair, I immediately have that "Waiting to Exhale" type of release of breath and all is well in my world. I was especially glad because I learned that the new Women's bible study starts THIS week and I didn't know about it and I learned the exact date of registration for the kids Summer camp and those spots go FAST and we're not doing the whole waiting list thing this year, plus I'm going to volunteer for the week so we're REALLY excited about all three of us getting to go this year.

AND...Kip's sermon was perfectly timed - "Awaken Your Passion" - he talked about 6 passion killers: An unclear purpose, an unemployed talent, an unconfessed sin, an unresolved conflict, an unsupported lifestyle, and an undernourished spirit and he reminded me what this new year is about for me and my family. He confirmed that Steve and I are on the right path and reminded us that God will not fail us. He reminded us "You must worship only the Lord, for He is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you." Exodus 34:14(NLT)
Pastor asked us if we are as passionate about our relationship with God...

No wonder satan was trying to keep us home tonight.


We returned home to find Steve writing music and in good spirits and willing to let Mai stay home with him during my bible study even though it's during his work time. The kids kept saying how much fun they had and I just sat back with a grin on my face. Get up, Dress up, and Show up...
oh...and turn off those negative thoughts, turn it around, do whatever you have to do to not let that sucker win the battle, no matter how small of a battle it may "seem" to be.