The Case of the Mysteriously Non-Sweaty Girl

I don't particularly like spin class the first couple times back at it. And then I never continue with it long enough to really be "back at it", but I always feel like a champion after each class. Nothing like thoroughly soaking your clothes to realize just how hard you've worked.

So, when the thermometer showed me yet another f..f..f..freezing day in the forecast and after hearing that my dad wore 3 pairs of pants on his bike ride yesterday and still froze his patootie off...well...I realized it was spin class or bust.

Knowing it was the first day back to the gym in almost a year for some gym goers and all classes were bound to be full, I decided to arrive early to claim my bike. I lifted weights for 1/2 and hour and then hit the bike room which was like a sauna. The sun was blasting through the window and the heat must have been on and since I already had a sweat going, I was in heaven. After yesterday's Adventures in Sledding , I could use a little heat in my life. But I thought for sure the girl whose bike was directly in the sun and who was wearing the thickest sweatshirt I've ever seen, would soon have to start shedding some clothes.

While pondering when exactly she was going to start undressing, I wiped my brow with what I soon realized was a very new hand towel. So new that it had lint flying off of it. With the sun shining in on me, my whole area looked like a dust bunny gone bad. I was positive I must have hundreds of little lint balls all over my face but before I could check myself out in the mirror, I breathed in...
...I have to interrupt here and tell you how I breath. Whether it is on a bike, on a hike, on a run, or just sitting at my desk pondering something, I breath like I'm the star pupil in lamaze class and I'm preparing to birth a child.
...So...I breathed in and realized that something flew into my mouth with my inhale...
...and it was lodged against the opening of my throat and I was choking to death. Surprisingly, in this instant, I did not freak out. I thought it through and realized if I put my fingers in my mouth, I would probably get athlete's foot or something equally as disgusting because I did not wash my hands after lifting weights. I also thought that I might draw too much attention to myself. Although, I must admit, not breathing and eventually falling off my bike probably would draw attention as well.

I managed to wrap my tongue around whatever it was that was blocking my airway and maneuvered it out and out and out to the side of my mouth like a magician who keeps pulling the silk handkerchiefs out of his hand, pretty hanky after pretty hanky with no end in sight. And this is what I got for my effort...

...well, not exactly, but close! Seriously. Some freakishly long thread must have been loose on my towel and when I inhaled, it made a straight shot for my tonsils and then headed on down the back of my throat, leaving just a teeny tiny end sticking up to tickle my uvula. When it wouldn't let me swallow it, I had no choice but to pull it back up.

Class went on around me and I think no one was the wiser of my near demise and I continued to secretly check out sweatshirt girl. After completely soaking my clothes, I went to the locker room and who should follow me in but Ms. Sweatshirt wearing girl herself... with make-up perfectly in place and not a drop of sweat to be found on her sweatshirt clad body. Very, very mysterious indeed. I may have to return to class on Wednesday to see if this mystery can be solved.... Something just isn't right in my world if you leave spin class smelling like a rose and looking that good.