Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Son's a Liar, My Daughter's a Dog

I was originally going to name this post "I'm Lucid, Long Time Coming" but I decided to start with the kids.

Ok - so two evenings ago Jack refuses dinner (not unusual for this picky eater), but then he also didn't eat but a bite or two of breakfast yesterday and told me he had a tummy ache (but he seemed fine to me, ya know?). He asked me if it's true that if you go to the nurses office at school and tell them you are sick they will send you home and you can play at home all day. I asked him where he heard that and he said on the cartoon Fairly Oddparents (I HATE that cartoon!). Somehow we got away from that conversation in the bustle of everything and off to school we went. Mai and I peeked through his class window before leaving and he looked and acted perfectly fine for his teacher. I'm home only about 10 minutes when I get a call from the school nurse. I go to pick him up and he seems absolutely fine but I considered all the other times I poopood his illnesses in the past and made him eat only to have him barf on me minutes later and so I decided I better take him home. It was obvious as soon as we got home that he was trying to pull something over on us.

So we move to evening (his dad and sister and he went shopping earlier to get the new StarWars game for the Wii that they have been talking about nonstop for weeks) and I brought up the nurses office again. I just really didn't want him to get away with lying. I asked him what the nurse did for him. He said she gave him medicine (obvious lie!!) and so I asked him what she gave him ~ pills or liquid. He said liquid. I asked him what it tasted like and he said it was fine (from a kid who I cannot get to take ANY meds without me holding him down!!!). I asked him to describe the flavor and of course he couldn't, so I said "Ya know, I can just ask the nurse tomorrow what the medicine was". He puts his finger to his forehead and pauses briefly and then says, Hm...I didn't think about that. You BETCHA MISTER!!! I'm not the mom for nothin'.
Ok, so no video game for him (and it was tough for him listening at the top of the stairs and hearing Dad and Mai playing Wii).

So we start with a new day today and sure enough...more lies are spewing out of his mouth non-stop. I'm going crazy!! I was so frustrated last year when kindergarten turned my angel ;o) into a little monster but I swear these first grader bad influences are going to put me over the edge...
...another night of no Wii for him. OH, SO SORRY MY LITTLE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF!!!

Ok, on to my sweet little girl, Mai (ahem... I mean my little puppy, Butterbud)...well, I've heard nothing but growls, panting, and whimpers this whole day. I'm hoping she doesn't pull the same stunt as when she was a cat at 3y/o and start pooping in the flower beds.

OK - OK - On to my breakthrough in being lucid. I feel like I've been anything but lucid since the day I had Jack 6+ years ago. I think I had a great summer after Jack was about 9 months and before I got pregnant with Mai, but really, except for that small small period of time, I've been in a haze. This week has been different. For some reason I've been visualizing more, I've felt more calm, I feel like whatever is going to happen is going to happen and that I WILL be able to accept it and handle it and deal with it and not just handle it and deal with it, but let it become a positive point in my life.

Rather than struggling through many different aspects of my life, this week, for the first time in my entire life maybe, I feel like I'm not struggling, but I'm moving forward, taking it all in, learning, growing, accepting it all. It's good.

I've also had two deaths affect me this month. Two weeks ago my awesome, beloved swim coach (our head TNT coach) Jane lost her mother. Jane's father has been fighting leukemia for some time now and her mom has participated in many TNT events for many years. She was on a training run with TNT and was hit by a car and died. Here are Jane and her mother, fighting the best they can through TNT for her father and then her mother dies in the process. We do not know when our time here is up. There has to be something better to do with my time than STRUGGLE.

My brother's Mother-in-Law, Jan, died this morning from cancer. I remember thinking (angrily) when my mom was diagnosed with myeloma that everyone else was so lucky that they would have their moms around for so much longer than me, Jenny included. Jan was diagnosed more than a year after my mom. Now my mom is here and Jenny's is not. We do not know when our time here is up. There has to be something better to do with my time than STRUGGLE.



Melissa H said...

Conor has tried to "play sick" before and I have told him that, if he is sick, he has to go to bed and stay there for the day. He makes a miraculous recovery. :-)

Mai's imagination sounds wonderful (and I laughed out loud that she pooped in the flower beds!!)

It is always good to get new perspective and find peace through the struggles. But, don't undermine what you're going through simply because you're not currently dealing with death or cancer or still have your mom. Appreciate the good, yes. But, it is okay to admit that life isn't always rosy. xoxo

Julie said...

Thanks for not giving me ((((hugs)))). You've been very good at remembering ;o)

True, life is not always rosy and I probably admit it less than most, but I'm feeling a peace in knowledge of how I need to react and act this week that I didn't before.

I'll say right now that all is not rosy around me right now. Fact.

However, I feel pretty good right now regardless and it seems to be a change in perception not a change in circumstances.

Thanks for listening, M.

Melissa H said...

Right there with ya, babe. We know who give us our joy (not to be confused with happiness!) :-)

Anna with Revolution said...

I've been trying to come back and read this post for the last several times I've had computer time - and I am so glad I did. I could not agree more with oyu that we really do this life a disservice when we create and wallow in our struggle. Imean, I guess we were created to struggle, but I find that I sometimes and just pushing so hard and struggling so hard I am not realizing what an amazing life I have even if I never accomplished, accumulated or added another thing.

This was timely. THanks.