Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I Can't Believe How Fat I Was
Steve and Mai pulled out these old pics last night and they just blew me away. Can you believe that on this vacation to Cancun I felt fat? 5'8" and 118 pounds at that time. I had come out of a relationship with someone who had stomped on my self-esteem and was in a brand new relationship with my future husband - I guess my brain wasn't quite in the right spot yet, though.
Looking back, I see such skinny arms and legs and it's no wonder my friends gave me grief, but I remember that vacation well and I felt FAT. I remember my food intake at that time and although it wasn't very healthy, it was apparently not too abundant in calories - AND I remember why it was so easy to NOT eat too much - I was BUSY!
I would have coffee and toast for breakfast, go to work, Top Ramen for lunch, back to work. On my way to my night job I would stop at Burger King and get a deep fried, breaded chicken sandwich with MAYO (yum) and then to bed somewhere around 1am. Next day, repeat. On the weekends, instead of going to my night job I would eat pizza and drink beer and play pool with friends at our favorite bars.
Now I work from home and have a fridge full of healthy food and way too many opportunities to eat and I am getting fat! I wonder if I'll look back on pictures of myself from this time and think, "girl, you were so skinny and you just didn't realize it!". But in reality, that won't happen, because my mirror is not lying to me this time around. If I look back on today's body and think I looked skinny, my future holds more trouble for me than I want. More thoughts on that later.
I LOVE THE START OF A FRESH NEW YEAR!! I have only two resolutions this year - keep a clean house (if you've visited my very dirty house, you know this is huge for me...I'll let you know how it goes) and the second is to chop my monthly grocery bill in half ~ At least 1/2!! First shopping trip of the new year comes a day early (today)- maybe I should leave the kids at home, this could be traumatic for me.
Good reading for today: http://scottabel.blogspot.com/
Posted by A Prelude To... at 6:56 AM