Saturday, March 19, 2011

That Hill Ain't Got Nuttin' On Me

  • Alarm goes off at 5:30 in the flippin' a.m. for this Brick workout today.

  • Fall back asleep on the couch while the coffee is brewing. 

  • Rouse myself back awake, by pure luck, in time to drink coffee, let coffee do its job, get out to the truck to speed out to the workout before I get left behind by all those fast young triathletes. 

  • Wonder why I keep doing this $h!t to myself year after year.

  • Truck is completely frozen over.

  • Break through the ice to get into the truck - finally speed away - arrive at meeting location.

  • Ask for bathroom.

  • Someone nods to the bushes.

  • Make my way to bushes, drop trou, perform a perfect ass to grass squat, piddle, stand up, see people looking at me, look at bushes, realize that someone completely pruned them two feet from the ground up, shuffle to my bike hoping no one noticed it was me. Hey - my eyes were still closed, maybe their's were too.

  • Head out on 24 mile ride - conquer a huge hill. The Olympic team came out early to position themselves all along our hill to cheer us on and even give me an actual push at one point.  I must have been looking pretty rough.
  • In the middle of the big hill, look at my bike computer. I. AM. FREAKING. ROCKING. THIS. THING. 11.2 mph up a flippin' mountain. Look down again. 11.3mph. Look again. 11.5mph. This hill ain't got nuttin' on me! I am STEADY!

  • Realize I'm looking at the odometer.

  • Turn to the trail putty and wish I had some booze. Glad I added the chocolate chips.
  • Return to transition area. Screw the landscaping, those bushes still looked pretty inviting. Did my business.

  • 5 mile run is slow. I never got into a real groove. My left glute has been bugging me and that in turn started to cause some left knee problems, which started to cause some mental problems so when I arrived home, I had my peeps draw me an ice bath and some hot tea so I could sit and stew for awhile.

  • 20 Minutes later I was renewed. Took me an hour to stop my teeth from chattering and then I celebrated the heat returning to my body by getting an icecream cone at the coffee shop. 

The alarm goes off.
Just a few minutes more.
My nose is stuffed.
My calves are sore.

It’s cold outside
It looks like rain.
There’s work to do.
Who needs to train?

There’s no clean clothes.
There might be ice.
Can’t find my gloves.
My bed sounds nice.

I brush my teeth.
Pull on my shoes.
The doorbell rings.
No time to shmooze.

I greet my friend.
I start my watch.
A slow warm-up.
Take it up a notch.

We hit the hills.
We’re halfway done.
Then I recall…
…that this is fun!
  • Remembered why I keep doing this $h!t.


P said...

I love, love, LOVE that poem!! Awesome job on the hill, I bet the odometer was just about on target with the speedometer.

Julie said...

Isn't Abby talented??!! way - that part of the hill had me going about 7mph TOPS. It's badass.

Terri said...

Ack - an ice bath! You guys and your ice bath thing! :)

Megan said...

Cute poem! You are gettin' at it with your tri training. I'm super impressed! I wish I was doing brick workouts with a group right about now. The training front is a little lonely right now. :(

Julie said...

What a great post!!! The odometer thing cracked me up! Love the poem too.

Small Town Runner said...

I have NO idea what I would ride on the "real" road. But I hate changing gears!!! I would drop chain. And that would be me..looking at the wrong piece of equipment.

Great poem!

Ya know...if you want to swim open water and ride down some big hills-if my foot was OK....I'd do the run part :) . I think they have relays.

Anonymous said...

Is that an ice bath? I cannot cycle in a flat terrain, let alone on a hill or going even slightly fast. But what I cannot do to save my life is an ice bath!! You are totally badass!

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

I love your break dowwn of the morning...I always wonder how each athlete aproaches a morning workout!

You tri's are amazing...amazing!

Abby @ Have Dental Floss, Will Travel said...

Ha! Glad the poem came in handy :)

And a push from an Olympian! Are olympic spottings normal parts of your training? Very cool.

Julie said...

Raina - There ARE relays! Not a bad idea. Someone with your speed on the run should have someone with like speed in the swim and the bike, though. I am strictly moderate :-)

Abby, our Team in Training team is split between the Halfers (those training for the half iron distance) and the Olys (the olympic distance team).

misszippy said...

This is a great recap of your workout! Way to show the hill your business. And your daughter is a trouper for even putting her feet in there with you!

Elizabeth said...

love this post :) and very impressed with your daughter even attempting to put her feet in! i can’t remember, have you posted whats in the putty? i need to make it!

Nicole Wagner said...

that sounds like a CRAZY day! I still havne't gotten up the guts to take an ice bath. i'm a woosy lol.

Abby @ Have Dental Floss, Will Travel said...

Ah, that makes sense... though I was excited about the prospect of olympians :)

Kate said...

Your spedometer/odometer story cracked me up. I would totally do that.

The ice's magic!!

Love the poem.

And yeah, this morning as I got up early for the second time this weekend, I was wondering WHY THE HELL I keep doing this. Oh, yeah, because it's fun. :)

Aimee said...

I loved this post! You are too funny! The comment about rocking the hill and realizing you were looking at the odometer was priceless! Haha!
Yay for an ice bath with warm tea!

Nikki Kendall said...

I love this!!

I also have a love/hate relationship with ice baths!

Michael said...

I must have missed this post. My husband does the ice bath, I couldn't stand it - no way. Love the bushes story. That is hilarious!