...and why do I feel like He's avoiding me?
I can totally feel when I'm off course and often I just let myself wander along until I'm hit in the head with how completely dumb I am being. Like today.
I had promised the kids I would take them geocaching and the closest one to us said it wasn't kid friendly. BUT>>>I took them anyways. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Right?....right?
Off we went to find our "treasure" and as we stumbled upon our coordinates, I realized we were under an overpass and the only way to go was up into a very dark and dank space. It was here that I hit upon the "hint" button to make sure we were on to something and discovered that our cache was a PILL BOTTLE. That's what the hint said - Look for a pill bottle. What the what??
Even my husband had a bad feeling on this one. I received the following text from him:
So...among all the empty 40s and urine stains, we found our broken and battered pill bottle. I don't know what might have been in it before it was cracked and destroyed and I don't think I really want to know. What I do know is that I was in pursuit of something I shouldn't have been and my treasure avoided me.
I feel like this many days in my pursuit of my Heavenly Father. Although He is on my mind in what seems to be a constant buzz, I find that I am not following the path I'm supposed to be following in this pursuit. I've taken off on a simple route that is close to home that feels ...well...easy. Comfortable. Not too out of my comfort zone. Maybe some days, I don't even follow a path at all, but expect to arrive somewhere without the movement it requires. And the smashed empty pill bottle that lies waiting for me is simply because I moved too fast, without thinking it through, without my true end destination in mind.
I get angry that He seems so elusive to me. Like a child, I want my way and I want it NOW. He doesn't go by my desires, though. He DOES ask me to Rejoice in confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and to keep on praying. (Romans 12:12) and so tomorrow I will again rise and pursue Him. His treasure is in each day, each person, each lesson. As I end this day, I'm still thinking on my lessons learned. I know it comes together for His good - even my missteps. So tomorrow I will rejoice in the confident hope that I know He wants me to continue my pursuit, even with all the crazy side roads I take, I'm to keep on praying and to rejoice in confident hope.
He's not avoiding me.
He's waiting patiently for me.