Sunday, January 15, 2012

In Pursuit of God...

...and why do I feel like He's avoiding me?

I can totally feel when I'm off course and often I just let myself wander along until I'm hit in the head with how completely dumb I am being. Like today.
I had promised the kids I would take them geocaching and the closest one to us said it wasn't kid friendly. BUT>>>I took them anyways. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Right?....right?

Off we went to find our "treasure" and as we stumbled upon our coordinates, I realized we were under an overpass and the only way to go was up into a very dark and dank space. It was here that I hit upon the "hint" button to make sure we were on to something and discovered that our cache was a PILL BOTTLE. That's what the hint said - Look for a pill bottle. What the what??

Even my husband had a bad feeling on this one. I received the following text from him:


So...among all the empty 40s and urine stains, we found our broken and battered pill bottle. I don't know what might have been in it before it was cracked and destroyed and I don't think I really want to know. What I do know is that I was in pursuit of something I shouldn't have been and my treasure avoided me.

I feel like this many days in my pursuit of my Heavenly Father. Although He is on my mind in what seems to be a constant buzz, I find that I am not following the path I'm supposed to be following in this pursuit. I've taken off on a simple route that is close to home that feels ...well...easy. Comfortable. Not too out of my comfort zone. Maybe some days, I don't even follow a path at all, but expect to arrive somewhere without the movement it requires. And the smashed empty pill bottle that lies waiting for me is simply because I moved too fast, without thinking it through, without my true end destination in mind.

I get angry that He seems so elusive to me. Like a child, I want my way and I want it NOW. He doesn't go by my desires, though. He DOES ask me to Rejoice in confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and to keep on praying. (Romans 12:12) and so tomorrow I will again rise and pursue Him. His treasure is in each day, each person, each lesson. As I end this day, I'm still thinking on my lessons learned. I know it comes together for His good - even my missteps. So tomorrow I will rejoice in the confident hope that I know He wants me to continue my pursuit, even with all the crazy side roads I take, I'm to keep on praying and to rejoice in confident hope.
He's not avoiding me.
He's waiting patiently for me.

11 comments:

Michelle said...

Beautiful!!!! I needed this.

Raina said...

Thanks for the great reminder. You are so right though, he is always there- patiently waiting.
Hope your next adventure is more fruitful!

Coy Martinez said...

Couldn't have said it better myself.

You are I are like two birds of a feather. I can find myself doing the same things.

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

I sometimes wonder if God doesn't look at me and wonder that same thing! ..."what might have been filling me before He found me cracked and destroyed."

He talks in a whisper when I want Him to yell. It's not His voice that is failing it's most often my ears.

Elizabeth said...

i needed this today. thank you.

Kate said...

Maybe you're doing too much looking and not enough listening? I don't know...this really touched me, though. I think a lot of us are feeling the same things and don't always say it...or even recognize it.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

This is a great post, thanks for sharing

Julie D. said...

thanks, julie. i needed this today. it is right where I'm at. Thank God He pursues us.

Natalia said...

Hello Julie, Happy New Year! Glad the ts' arrived (finally - sorry) :-). Yes, I know all about that....but perhaps like Samuel sometimes it's hard to recognize the voice? It took Him three rounds with Samuel before the penny dropped and Samuel said "Speak Lord, your servant is listening". But one thing I know, He is always there and never misses a beat. Courage!

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

'He's waiting patiently for me.' love this!!!

mygrandmavita said...

Thanks Julie!!! You do realize YOU are the reason I even think about "the pursuit". I am more open now than ever but have still not found "it"!